At the last moment, and against my better instincts, I traveled to Guizhou province last week for some R&R. My instincts advised me not to do this because I am mere weeks away from leaving sweet, sweet Qinghai province. However, the opportunity to ride around on a bike in some place I’ve never been was too much for me to resist.

Highlights (pictures here, if you don’t want to bother with my written noodling):

Day 0 Flight from Xining to Chengdu. Security guards laugh at me.
5 hour layover in Chengdu, just enough time to ride the 18k into the city, have a massage, eat some egg-fried tomato noodles, and purchase 4 rmb dvds

Flight to Guiyang. Bike ride into the city. Adventures in hostel locating, culminating in the overzealous local cops kicking me out of a hostel. Forced to stay in nice hotel, “for your own safety”. This is an oft-quoted rule, but the first time I’ve encountered it. Lowpoint: JC and DD arrive at 2am. Thanks guys

Day 1
Ride out of grimy Guiyang and into countryside. See baby defying laws of gravity and pooping upside down. On steep uphill, two-stroke Chinese tractor truck poops dense cloud of exhaust on DD and JC. MF is un-exhausted.

Pass a factory where they make glass bottles for baijiu (grain liquor). Spend the night in scenic Baisheng, farming hamlet and motorcycle repair stop. Toilet is located next to pigsty. 70k?

Day 2
Leave Baisheng. MF miraculously locates QQ gummy bears in random store (QQ is a piece of Chinese instant message software – slap it’s name on anything and watch the sales soar). Leave pavement and head up steep dirt road. Terrain changes from rolling farmland to steep forested hills. After river, MF wins massive uphill. Lunch in Stone Dragon village, take bus to Duyun city. DD and JC find legit massage parlor. MF passes out from food poisoning. Hostel turns out to be place of… leisure. Pimp argues with DD about room costs.

Day 3
Late start. Tag along at a pokey speed, as MF still sick. Covered ~40k, found ourselves at the bottom of a hill and decided to wait. Crummy ice cream. Had to continue as no buses would stop. Rode to Bagu. Buses full and wouldn’t stop to pick up even grandma and her chickens. DD eats three bags of gummy bears. Rode on. Monster 9k, alp-like hill? Or was that later? Downhill. Up again. Arrived in Danzhai. Forced to stay in foreigner hotel again. Pretty loud. Eat spicy chicken and potatoes yum, the hill cured me

Day 4
DD sick, apparently from gummy bears. JC and MF have good baozi (stuffed breadlings), internet, wait for DD to snap out of it. Decide to take a rest day, wait for bus on the side of the road. Catch one to Sandu. DD even sicker. JC and MF eat take-out noodles out of a bag. MF witnesses popcorn thief. Bus to Rongjiang. Stay in ostensibly nice hostel, but later turns out to be unbearably loud. JC unphased.

Day 5
DD well enough to ride. 90k gradual downhill to Songjiang. Drafting is denounced by JC. DD says he is sick so he can draft all he wants, thank you very much. MF either has short cranks or short stubby legs, can’t keep up on downhills. On arrival, catch a bus to Sanjiang. Road under construction for 110km, glad we are not sucking dust. Hostel loud

Day 6
Slow morning. Hostel still loud honking honking. JC eats pavement on slippery patch. Start the last 60k to Shenglong, but immediately encounter dust. Why? Why would you rebuild your road, all at one time instead of piecemeal repaving. Several inches of dust and heavy traffic force us to return to town and catch a, wait for it… a bus. Boo. Takes 3 hours to travel 60 km. Wouldn’t have survived on bikes. On arrival, immediately bust out for Guilin. Cover 40k before darkness falls, catch another bus. Quiet hostel on river near Guilin bus station. Massages food beer. MF startled by giant, aggressive cockroach. DD and JC almost die from unnecessary laughter

Day 7
Slow start. Rice noodles for lunch. Decide to bike to Yangshuo. 60k on map, all flat. Cover the distance in two hours, drafting in a pack. Pizza finally. Slacker rockclimbing backpacker town good for something after all. Midautumn Festival, so fireworks, mooncakes in the evening.

Day 8
MF rides pirate bus back to Guilin. 5 hour layover in Xi’an, bikes around airport and eats dumplings with airport workers near dormitory. Flight delayed, arrive Xining 2am. Meet GH in airport, returning from Shanghai. Apparently Shanghai is developed

Day 10
JC sends MF message saying that they rode to Guilin airport, almost missed plane. MF knows this is cockroach karma

Final notes to self:

Avoid eating pork in rural motorcycle repair shop-type places.

The ethnicities in Guizhou seem to really like their traditional clothing, or at least the womenfolk do. But, the trip was a good lesson in Hanification – everyone along the route was devoted to the standard Chinese pastimes of farming, traveling to big towns to sell ducks, or building up the big towns and selling things there. Of course, we didn’t really get to know the Miao or Shui people too well.

Our route below, you can plug in the lat/long and check out the terrain on Google Earth if you have it sitting around